Fireproof

Fireproof, the movie, was released on DVD yesterday. For those of you who haven't seen it, and even for those who have, I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy for your personal film library. And while you're at it, maybe grab an extra for a friend who needs hope.

Fireproof conveys the strong testimony of God's saving power in marriage. It vividly (and sometimes painfully) portrays a marriage seemingly broken beyond repair, but God's redeeming grace and mercy prevail.

I've been in one of those marriages, and I'm sure someday I'll share our story, but for now, I can only encourage you that this is a movie worth watching and worth sharing.

A few fun Fireproof facts:

Kirk Cameron, of 80's Growing Pains fame, plays the lead role. As a Christian actor, he committed to never taking a role that would require him to kiss a woman other than his real-life wife. It was a covenant he made to honor his marriage above his career. ***Spoiler Warning*** In Fireproof, during a romantic scene near the end of the movie, his real-life wife actually stands in for the actress who plays his wife in the film. How cool is that?

Fireproof was the top grossing Indie movie of 2008, beating out Hollywood garbage like Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona (starring Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz), and Milk (starring Sean Penn).

Fireproof was made on a budget of $500,000, including a cast and crew of mostly volunteers (Kirk Cameron didn't get paid either).

When the producers approached the Albany (Georgia) Fire Department about borrowing an old firetruck for the movie, the Department gave them access to the best fleet because of the film's positive message.

Last weekend at the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival, Fireproof took home the Jubilee Award for "Best Feature" and was runner-up in the "Best of Festival" category.

So buy it, rent it, whatever, just make sure you see Fireproof. You never know, it might do wonders for your marriage revolution!

Random Thoughts

A few random Monday morning thoughts...

In keeping with the challenge and revolution, I've decided to pick one thing off the obedience checklist to focus on this week. Of course, I would love for my husband to come to me after a few days and tell me he's noticing a change in my heart and attitude towards him. But even if he doesn't, I am committed to pressing on. After all, this isn't about what God wants to do in my husband, it's about what God wants to do in me.

So, this week, I am choosing "do I seek to affirm him?". I know what I love and appreciate about my husband, but does he know what those things are? This week I am going to make sure he does.

And if you're wanting to join the challenge, it's not too late. Leave a comment and I'll pray for you. This is not going to happen in our own strength. If there's one thing I have learned about marriage, it is that Satan does not want it to succeed. We need prayer and total dependence on the Lord.

Lois over at Walking on Sunshine is spending the week sharing a devotional on the Proverbs 31 woman. It's worth checking out.

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On another note, I was lamenting the change in government last week. Our President has entered office with a seeming determination to "turn the world upside down." He has already made great strides to overturn policies on values I hold dear. This can make me almost fearful.

But I am taking great comfort in Proverbs 21:1, which was, incidentally (or not), the opening verse of the Proverb for January 21st, one day after the inauguration. "The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes."

Nothing is out of God's hands.

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Now on to lighter things.

Yesterday Aiden was taking inventory of our family: "There are two boy kids and three girl kids."

In a great homeschooling mom moment, I decided to capitalize on his analysis and make it a math lesson. "How many kids do we have all together, Aiden?"

"A lot."

Out of the mouths of babes...

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And finally. Just what is it about little girls and their mother's (best) lipstick?

Have a great day!

A Few Helps

I don't know about you, but I hate reading self-help books that take ten chapters to outline the problem and two chapters to offer vague helps that don't come close to actually helping me solve the problem. This frustrates me because my whole purpose in picking up the book was that I already had a pretty good idea of what the problem was -- what I needed was the help!

Yesterday, I took up my friend Lois's challenge to be more honoring of my husband and invited my readers (all five of you, smile!) to do the same. Then I started thinking about the books I've read and the encouragements I've received along the way to change my old feministic (yes, you read that right, I said feministic!) way of thinking.

A month or so ago, I mentioned a Titus 2 women's group that I attend. Last fall when she was exhorting us to be obedient to our husbands (Titus 2:5), our beloved teacher Pamela gave us this checklist to help us measure how "honoring" we really are. I thought I'd pass it along as a possible help:

Obedience Checklist
Do I remember his requests?
Do I make excuses?
Am I seeking to be reverent?
Am I seeking to be helpful?
Do I forget him?
Do I seek to do him good and not evil all of his days?
Do I seek to love him?
Do I seek to bear all things with him?
Do I seek to be hopeful toward him?
Do I treat him as the lord of my home and life?
Am I trustworthy?
Do I withhold myself from him?
Do I roll my eyes at him?
Do I seek to affirm him?
Do I badmouth him anywhere?
Do I murmur in my heart against him?
Do I complain about him to others?
Do I mock him?
Do I listen to him or do I tune him out?
Do I prefer him? Does he know it?
Do I pray for him?
Am I helping him or hindering him?

Yes, a few of these hit me pretty hard, but that's a good thing. Knowing where I am falling short helps me see where I need to grow, what I need to change, and who I need to become. I keep this list in my Bible. At first I was reviewing it every morning and it was a good reminder of where my priorities need to be at the beginning (and end!) of each day. I have to start doing that again.

I also highly recommend three books: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl, and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (you can read more on this one here).

And of course, the Bible. The more I'm in God's Word, the more I'm challenged to be the person He wants me to be and strive for the character He wants me to have (amazing how that works, isn't it?).

As wives, we have the awesome privilege of creating the atmosphere in our homes. And I don't mean decorating. One of my favorite pastors used to say, "You can be the thermostat or the thermometer. Do you want to set the tone or do you want to reflect it? The choice is yours."

A Challenge In Respect

God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian manor an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife -- an excellent wife. ~ Martha Peace ~

We live in a culture that does not believe this! Husbands are portrayed as annoying, tv watching, good for nothing idiots who add little to the family as a whole. This is simply not true, and yet it's what society is screaming for us to believe.

Well, we're not buying it in this house! My husband works his tail off for our family. HE is usually the one falling into bed at night. After being gone for 14 hours and working all day, he comes home thinking of his family first. He challenges us to good conversation at dinner, leads us in family devotions, tucks the kids into bed and then asks what else he can do for me! He helps with dishes, folds laundry, changes light bulbs and listens to me vent about my day before he even thinks about relaxing. And that's just the beginning.

Is he perfect? No way! (Sorry, Honey!) I could make a laundry list of his weaknesses, but what would that help? He knows them better than I do.

In the last year or so, God has been pressing me to be a more honoring wife. To be better at appreciating and respecting my husband. Contrary to the messages we hear, the Bible's mandate for me to respect my husband is no less conditional than his command to unconditionally love me (Ephesians 5). He doesn't have to earn it and I don't have to feel it!

The more I encourage my husband by honoring him (rather than nagging him!), the more he becomes the head of household I need him to be. My motivation can't be selfish, but the end result certainly benefits me.

My friend Lois issued a year-long challenge on her blog today: "I want my husband to be my most important ministry. Not what I do in church, not my job, and (GASP) not my children. My husband is my precious gift and how I handle that gift reflects on the attitude of this household. So this will be my goal for the year. To truly put my husband in the place God intended all husbands to be...at the head of our household. "

So, I'm taking up the challenge, and encourage you to do the same. I know what I should be doing, but I can certainly do a better job of actually doing what I should I be doing!

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

Testimony Friday

Steve is in New York for a few days visiting family and attending his grandmother's funeral. I miss him.

Not just because he isn't here to rescue me at the end of a crazy day. Not just because he isn't here to help with dishes and do our nightly devotions. Not just because I'm bored and wishing for some adult conversation after the kids are settled in bed. Although in all these areas I do miss him.

The real reason I miss him is because he truly is my better half and my better part is absent.

I remember the stormy years of our marriage when he was traveling every week for work. At the time, that job was a God-send. He'd fly out first thing Monday morning and come home late Wednesday or Thursday night. Friday was usually good, Saturday would be shaky, and by Sunday I was anxious for Monday so he'd leave again. We didn't get along well enough to handle being together more than three days a week!

How faithful God has been. How much He has restored. Now, he's been gone less than 24 hours and I can't wait for him to come home!

I'm thankful for the reminder of how far we've come. So often, when I get to a new place in life, I forget about the old place. I start to feel stagnant and begin to believe that nothing ever changes. The truth is, I'm always changing. For better or worse, change is taking place.

It's good to look back and see how God's hand has moved. How much things have changed. I am so very grateful that life is not the way it used to be. In Christ, there is always hope.

My New Book

I'm reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but it is a good book. We live in a culture that so undermines men and marriage and the recognition of proper roles. Dare I say that even the church at large does not encourage the Biblical standard?

So on the advice of a trusted sister and friend, I headed to the library and picked up this book.

Chapter One starts with a bang. In short, Dr. Laura encourages wives to be grateful for their husbands: faults, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies and all. She quotes a letter from a listener who challenges wives to make a conscious effort do do the following things:

• Thank God daily for such a terrific guy, mentioning specific qualities for which I'm grateful.


• Look for daily ways to be a blessing to my husband (trying to understand what pleases him, anticipating his needs, etc.).


• Chart my cycle and remind myself on the PMS days that what I'm feeling isn't true and to keep my mouth shut and let it pass.


• Avoid books, magazines, and TV shows that describe what marriage, family and husbands ought to be like, and make a conscious effort to be grateful for things as they are instead of trying to change the people around me.


• Take responsibility for my own emotional well being: Stay rested, don't overcommit and then complain, stay in touch with friends with a positive influence.


• Stay focused on making a home for my family and remember that this is my highest calling and responsibility, and that it has eternal value. The more I do this, the happier and more content I am.

I'm already convicted and I've hardly started chapter two! I think it's a "must read" for 2009. I'll let you know how it goes!